We can’t fight everything one by one, Francis. But if we make this; we make it work for us. — Claire Underwood
The above dialogue is from a good series — House of cards. I’ve started watching it because of my liking towards politics. Later I realized it’s not only about political thinking but also about a couple being there for each other.
To begin with, let’s ask ourselves, what does it take for us to maintain a relationship? What is the extend we’re willing to go to keep it?
I’ve learned it the hard way by failing in many relationships.
Often I had complaints and expectations about my other half. Also got inspired by surroundings and developed assumptions of love. But I forgot that every relationship is unique in its own way and there is never a one solution for all.
So if you’re looking for 10 secrets to healthy relationships or expecting me to recommend a book, I’d disappoint you.
But there’s one suggestion I can share.
Think of you and your other half as members of a team. You’re fighting against the another powerful team — the world.
The other team will have opinions, perspectives and rules on how to live a life. The day one of you start following those, your team breaks.
The only way to win over the world is to stay together during the scorching heat and freezing cold.
Even if you’re there for each other, the mind is restless.
It develops feelings about your other half being less passionate about the relationship. But if you’re concluding that it’s their mistake, you want to take a step back.
Like how the climbers grow around the branches towards the direction of the light, a person find ways to follow their interests regardless of their strict environment.
So if you cannot fulfill the needs of your other half, they will have to look for it in someone or somewhere. You can give this phase any name but the truth never changes.
Once I asked a friend, Why do you love your wife? His reply made me release that not everything in this world needs logic and reasoning. Certain experiences are beautiful in its own way.
His reply was “Do I need a why or reason to love my wife? I love her because I love her. It’s not quantifiable”.